T'was The Night of Rambling Updates...

T'was the night before Ben's 8 week birthday when all through the house not a thing was in order not even a blouse... Okay its not that messy. Gosh where to start?

Well I think within the hour of finishing my last blog everything changed. EVERYTHING! Ben went from only crying right before poops to crying all evening long EVERY evening. I read and read and talked to everyone and though there is NO definition for "colic" there are some basic standards called "the 3 C's" 1. Cries for at least 3 hours. 2.) Cries for at least 3 days a week 3.) Cries for at least 3 weeks. Its MORE than safe to give Baby Ben a passing grade WITH honors for this achievement. In fact, for the first 3 weeks he cried from 4pm-11pm (and even past 12:30am once or twice) EVERRRRY single night. THEN sometime a week and a half ago he started crying both evenings and days. Thank God, and I DO, he hasn't been too difficult during the night. How HAVE the nights been? Well let me tell ya.... he'd maintain the schedule as described in the last blog with the exception that from 4am on he'd be sooo restless with bouts of frantic kicking, punching and short bursts of cries and finally after several hours of that he'd finally get relief of LARGE gas explosions around the early morning hours. I tried 2 different natural gas, colic, stomach relief drops to NO avail. I stopped eating dairy (cheddar cheese being one of three food items I have been eating next to extra chunky peanut butter and chocolate chips...I'm WAY too ashamed to admit how many bags I go through a week.) Believe me I go up and down the isles in the grocery store and NOTHING sounds appetizing, I just don't get it. I love vegetables, I love meat, I love lots of stuff but even the off-limit foods have no appeal but come on....pb and chocolate is NOT healthy!

Okay, so I called the Dr. earlier this week- he told me that statically dairy is usually not the reason for colic, gas, stomach issues (which is what I have read as appose to popular thinking that dairy will help or stop it) but nonetheless I was willing to cut off my limbs to have more than 10 mins of quiet here and there (that's how long his average naps have been seriously) so I've cut it out and haven't seen a significant difference, I'd say screw it but I can't afford cheese anyway so might as well stay off it for a little longer. lol THEN I was advised to try mycolin drops..I think I'm spelling that wrong, I DO know the correct spelling but at present I'm so immensely stretched to my limits I just can't think. I was told from several sources they have a 50/50 success rate...I went to the store and EVERY bottle of EVERY brand were sold out. I did have one day this last week, can't even remember which it was when Baby Ben was once again the baby I knew who slept for hours upon hours. He was so content and slept most of the day that I actually ended up not being able to stand it, I got his out of bed TWICE to give him hugs and kisses cause I missed him so much. The next day, back to Purgatory.

On top of everything my husband has been working long days between his two jobs, some times 12 hours+ involving 2 hrs of commuting. Thus, by the time he gets home he's obviously exhausted and needing rest and cave time but his cave woman is about to go made and burn down the dwelling so he's pushed to his limits from taking over and nursing me. There was one day this past week where I was so frustrated and tired and at my wits-end he had to just undress me and put me to bed (without a bottle ;)

On a good note it is rather the inevitable he will be offered full time with RV Kuhn's including benefits pretty soon! It will be like Christmas, let me tell ya, how awesome it will be to have that chunk of $$$ (paying for private insurance) freed up to go toward my student loans! AND Tom being Tom is still planning on maintaining his other job with Apple. they told him as long as he works 15 hours a week they will keep him on. It means he'll work Saturdays and probably 2 nights during the work week. UGH But he's doing it for us. It allows our  phone bills to be next to nothing and again, working ourselves crazy to get out of debt!

Speaking of working I start back up with Adidas this week. Can't stay I'm super excited about it even with Ben's all-day colic-ness. My mom, bless her heart, will be taking care of my bebe and though I will only be working 6 days a month I know from experience I will be asked if I can take on more cause..tis the season and special seasonal/annual projects I am usually always involved with are coming up. It makes me nervous. I know my boss is very understanding and has given me an out if I need to drop a store or even two but me being me I want to see I how much I can take before I drop anything. Oh and the reason I;m keeping my Adidas job is due to paying student loans. I know most of you have them too so I know I'm complaining to the choir here about how crappy it is to be paying 450+ a month and how it SUCKS. According to projected payback schedules they will get to over 700 a month in the next few years. Pretty insane.

I keep getting asked how I like being a Mom. I always answer the same, "I enjoy being a Mommy but not so much being a Mom. The difference being a Mommy means experiencing all the sweet moments and a Mom means all the the responsibility." Baby Ben doesn't know anything about debt or responsibilities or mom needing to get the grocery shopping done as fast as she can while he sleeps, needing to run into the Post Office or ANYWHERE without planning on what it will mean to take the simple trip with him, all he knows is when he's hungry, when something hurts and when his mom is and isn't there. So while I feel like I already learned my lesson about getting into debt, I feel like its now 100% solidified how I would ever go there again cause it means I am giving up being there for him 100%. I'm also grateful for a husband who has been working so hard free us from the student loans, none of which were his, sacrificing his own time away from college to do so in the hope and effort once we are debt free we will get him through school PAYING AS WE GO! Is it slow and tedious, you bet. Are we aware of the loss of gain that could be ours if we just bit the bullet and put him through school so he could be making more sooner? Of course. We know how MOST people do things but we are trying a different route.
Okay well that's the news from the Clark home, "where all the women are strong, the men are good looking and all the children are above average! "