Monday, October 22, 2012

It's Raining, It's Pouring, It's Beautiful

I’m trying to think of what’s new to tell and really nothing is new. Maybe that’s a good thing? I know this election has been driving my IBS nuts-o. I simply can’t handle it anymore. It’s not “negative adds” some people complain about that annoys me it’s the nervousness of it all. The cramps that come from every channel telling me the “latest polls” which I think are bogus; the bubbling of stomach pressure after eating like mad and pacing the floor while the “non-biased commentator” clearly feeds a candidate his lines and wondering IS EVERYONE else seeing/hearing this? And HOPING America does but then when the debates’ over its immediately obvious that nope… media continues to ignore it and takes Americans for saps. I just want the conclusion NOW. Kinda like the nervousness of waiting to find out how many people and WHO Voltimort ends up killing before he’s destroyed before watching the last movie (or reading the last book if you’re someone who reads, which I don’t).

It’s really quite weird that November is NEXT week. It’s really…gosh what’s my feeling on it? Humm I like it! And taken-back that its HERE! I got Ben’s Halloween outfit mostly put together I think I’m just a little stuck on the jacket BUT I think its gonna be awesome. It’s not from anything I’ve seen or heard of but from my own imagination. I remember Bek saying, oh gosh, YEARS ago how she could see especially me having so much fun dressing up my kids for Halloween and I was like umm ok sure..? But Ya, she was right (yet again) it has been pretty fun. I enjoyed last years 45 min before going to the ward party and thinking ok I have no costume, zero money, what the crap should I do? Then it hit me, oh dah he’s baby Harry Potter and I’ll go as Hagrid and we did and got a TON of compliments, there was only one woman who didn’t get it but she admitted she’d only seen one of the movies years ago and didn’t remember anything expect it was “too violent” oh and she was like 90 years old and asked if it was okay that I was cross-dressing. Haha

I’ll put up pictures after Friday (that’s when I’ll be taking him to Tom’s kid work party and prob the ward party day too) I predict now that Ben won’t hold on to his candy bucket and upon receiving a treat will take it out of his bucket and throw it. And really I think the biggest challenge will be keeping his costume on him and not letting him take it all off! I mean please…

It’s funny the thought of candy does nothing for me. Seriously. I love me some peanut M&M’s now and again but I haven’t had any for a quite some time and they still don’t sound all that exciting. Woo hoo! HOWEVER, Lacey did come stay with me for a few days last week and brough ice cream with her….DANG her! Lol My latest food kick I’ve been on (WHICH I’m happy I’m ON one!) has been BLT’s I have a big ‘ol lettuce bed SLATHERED with a pretty awesome amount of Mayo (really I don’t want to say how much but it’s quite fantastic) and a LOT of bacon (on the too-cooked side which I like) and a few slices of tomatoes which I’m NOT suppose to be eating but…I AM! I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned in my last blog but I’m supposed to be on meats and fats only diet, no veggies. I haven’t been very good at it. I think variation is the toughest part of living as strict as I do. I often become easily irritated when I hear complaining about other “dieting restrictions” when they are sooo easy. But it all comes back and down to my fairness issue getting poked at and Tom helps remind me (yet again) to not compare and try to concentrate on what I have. In fact, I came across one of those World Traveler shows showing life ANYWHERE but the US and wow… it’s not like I haven’t seen any of those striking, unimaginable realties many times before but come on!!!! How can it not stop ya right in your tracks and make you IMMEDIATELY think…ya MY problems are NOT problems! Starvation, exposure, flooding, droughts, no readily available doctors, medicines, hospitals, vaccines, I don’t face thousands of years-long civil war, sex trade, no one’s threatening my personal life due to my gender, race, religion, I have access to education, free enterprise, so many freedoms and rights/rites.    

With that said, I have a doctors appointment next week and I can’t tell you HOW ready I am for it! Among other check-up things I am going to get this bloody B.C. out of my body. Detesting birth control is nothing new nor are the known effects it has on me but this year long experiment is SO over! NOOOOooo I’m not trying to get pregnant. I still need time to get back to normal mentally and a second baby still freaks me out THOUGH the idea of having a little girl IS appealing. I am worried of going through another 9 months of morning sickness, gaining another Lindsay Lohan WITHOUT fully losing the one I still have, and now afraid more than EVER about going through labor!!!! Oh and I want to have the full experience of excitement and longing first!