First: An update on our Lil Ben! Baby Ben is just so dang sweet. He turned 1 month on Wednesday- AHHH. He smiled for the first time awake last week and since I’ve only got one other smile. I just can’t wait till he starts smiling all the time cause its so interesting how his face just totally changes in the sweetest way when he’s smiling!
He has spit-up a total of 3 times. We are ridiculously so spoiled by how easy going he is, seriously; I completely recognize how blessed we are to have such good a baby. He honestly cries for one reason- 9 out of 10 cries are from him working on some gas/poopies. And even then the crying fits don’t last very long and once he’s pooped he’s good. And the 1 of out 10 cries are him fussing out he doesn’t like to fall asleep without being in my arms. It’s soooo sweet but anyone with arms or things to do knows how it can be trying. Oh and he’s moved up into Stage 1 diapers from NB- I finally put my foot down about not using up the last package of NB diapers when he pee-pee’d threw them 2 nights and 2 days in a row. Ahhh its getting SO big! He popped out a double chin last week, it seemed just over night. It’s so cute.
He’s not yet sleeping through the night but I’m hoping it’s coming soon. He is up at the same times every night that I have grown use to it and wake up just minutes or even seconds before he does. He wakes and is up from 11:45pm-12:15am, 1:45AM-2:45AM, (and sometimes 1:45am-3:30am) 4:00am-4:15am, 5:30-5:45 or 6am for a few minutes, 7:20am for a few minutes, 8:30am and is up or I’ll try to sleep another hour if he allows! lol
Overall, I am so excited to have a baby during the holidays! I really love having a calm, special, little baby boy, WAY MORE than I ever expected. He is just so dang adorable- I can’t express how proud I am to have a lil Tom. I wouldn’t change a THING! (well maybe change that I hope his gas and poopies are painful- its tough to not be able to do much but comfort him). I remember Bek knowing a woman in her old ward who’s newborn had kidney stones! I remember how horrible that sounded then and NOW it worries me more than you know. I mean, kidney stones are still the most painful ailment I know and to imagine a baby having them, and going through that pain when HONESTLY NO amount of painkiller does crap!!!!! Its just so heartbreaking. I just hope it doesn’t happen with Baby Ben or ANY baby for that matter!! Ah
Secondly: How I’m doing. Well..hmm. My incision is doing fine- I’d take a pic but…you’d all see my pubes and I’m sure you DON’T want to see that! Lol The incision is fine- it itches like mad. I think my only post-op complaint is really such a small one. I still have pain when I sit-up from bed (any kind of sitting-up exercise for that matter). But really I feel fine. And I know I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I am thankful for how everything went- YES nothing happened when and how I wanted (except that my husband and my mom were 10000% perfect in support throughout the labor) BUTTTT now I honestly hope I always have c-sections! Haha Yet, another complete 180 degree opinion change I’ve made through the course of being pregnant/delivery. I guess my big concern with IT I were to continue to have c-sections is that I know each one following is rougher on your uterus. I could be totally wrong but I know personally three women whom 1 couldn’t have anymore children after the 2nd because the surgery destroyed hers and another while CAN have more children has been “strongly advised” not to for the same reason. I think 3 kids is plenty though so we’ll see.
Baby-Blues. I feel for the most part I have been feeling the opposite of baby-blues. Meaning, I haven’t been having any kind of not wanting to leave the house but instead I can’t seem to get out enough! I try to get out at least once a day and for at least an hour if not longer. I do my best to time Ben’s naps so doesn’t have his fussy-poops while in the stores, etc. Also, I feel blessed I haven’t had any issues with not connecting with my baby. I do however have been having one sign of post-pardon and that is I absolutely hate having those freaky worries about Ben getting hurt, getting stolen, dropping him on accident, or Heaven forbid he gets SIDS. Bek said while they are TOTALLY normal and part of being a mom, to try to get those icky thoughts out as fast as they can come in and also use prayer to help subdue them. It works.
As far as any depression feelings. While I am still weepy at times (though the weepiness has gone away a TON) I’m feeling depressed about the loneliness that has come from the sudden change of working full time to now having very little human interaction.
I miss Bek living just 20 minutes away. I’m sure if she still lived here I’d be driving her NUTS with regular visits! I miss so many friends that are gone now. I miss my good friend Sara Fitzsimmons
Weight. Well I dropped 35 lbs without an ounce of effort the first 2 weeks and then it totally stopped. While I haven’t checked the scales in over a week due to not wanting to obsess AND I haven’t felt any changes either. I know it’s only been a month but I’m still worried. Worried cause I have an up-hill battle from here especially since my appetite has come back, not WAY hungry but normal hungry. Also, and this might sound SO weird to those of you who don’t know this yet about me but since ….2005? I go on weird food kick(?) I guess you would call it.
Basically, I get one food in my head and it’s the ONLY thing I want to eat for 2-3 meals a day for 6 weeks to 4 months at a time. I’ve gone on all kinds of kicks. Nally’s Chili, Turkey sandwiches, then when I changed my diet in ’08 the cravings changed to Costco sausages & kraut, deviled eggs (my poor roommate put up with that smell for MANY moths!) I literally would go through 3 dozen eggs in 6 days and a large jar of Best Foods in a week! NOT EXAGGERATING! I’ve gone on salad kicks- LOVE salads, scramble eggs with an absurd amount of cheese and salsa, and then back to earlier craving. I’ve asked two doctors about why I eat this way and if its some kind of issue but both doctors weren’t worried and said as long as I wasn’t eating 3 dozen eggs a day for weeks then I should be fine! Anyway, the reason I’m even bringing this up is while I’m on a food kick life is fine its when I stop wanting something but don’t have another that sounds good that life SUCKS! I call it my limbo stage. It doesn’t happen between every change but when it does it lasts for anywhere from a week to a few months- I’ve been on it since Ben was born and the only thing that sounds even remotely good is Peanut Butter (another food kick item) and Ghiradelli 60% cacao chocolate chips. EVEN if there weren’t any foods off the table in my diet, I’m telling you nothing sounds good. I’ve done things in the past to hurry along the process- even gagging down deviled eggs in the attempt to crave them again- it has worked and not worked. Sooo for now its PB and C.chips and I WONDER WHY my weight isn’t shedding! Haha There IS a blessing in all this too! I have gone on egg kicks and I think they saved me during the most poorest of times (eggs are so cheap) I just wish I would hit that one again!
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