Hot Boobs

Don't be too alarmed, this isn't some GRAPHIC blog about my breasts! Okay it is, come on you all know ME!
I have HOT boobs. Its normal I know to feel as if your boobs, specifically your nips, could bake a cake in half the time than an oven- while in the beginning stages of breast feeding but holy cow that information doesn't change its ouchiness. Sometimes they are so hot to the touch I worry lil Ben's tongue will get scorched. They are so hot... (how hot are they?) Frodo could have saved himself a lot of time and heartache by simply destroying the ring on my ta-ta's! Wow I think my tiredness has taken me to a new level of crassness and DORKhood...I made a Lord of The Ring reference, SICK!

PAUSE- I just heard Ben crap his pants from across the room and possibly even the neighbors heard it too. I gotta go change him....
Okay back. Before Tom left for work I promised him and myself I would go to sleep b/c I haven't taken a nap since... last Thursday actually and lil Ben has been up every hour of the night, every other night for days now. Needless to say I'm not running on fumes. FUMES WERE YESTERDAY now the car is empty and I've gotten out and have been pushing it! Honestly, I can't blame anyone but me though. Taking naps are hard for me. My mom said that she never had a hard time getting us to nap or putting us down for the night, maybe cause we played a LOT! We were always outside playing (at least as a 6 yr old it felt like all day) Anyway, napping became hard as a teen and an adult. I just couldn't nap on Sunday's after church, I just always wanted to do something else- like tv watchin' or make yet ANOTHER batch of chocolate chip cookies. (you all know how well that worked out for me). So with lil Ben its no different. I would rather be in "go-mode" cleaning, organizing, out and about with him, anything. However, something always gives and in this case my sanity. I know.
So I tried to nap. I got out of the shower, Tom left for work, Baby Ben had been asleep for about an hour of his first long naps so yaaah...I should have been able to get plenty of sleep but nooope.
Point in case #2 i'm losing it. As I was typing this my Relief Society President came over. I can't tell the difference between noon and 1pm on the clock anymore! wah haha I answered the door in my robe and towel on my head, she could just deal with it (which she did cause she's nice!)

Okay Baby Ben is asleep again and I really am gonna attempt to take a nap BUT not until I tell ONE story!

Last Thursday Baby Ben got the BIG SNIP! I wasn't even in the room with him and I was teary. Tom stayed with him and afterwards said he did really well and really hardly cried. Okay SOoooo fast forward a couple hours last Thursday. Tom was at work, Ben's diaper needed to be changed, I was prepared to change him and put a massive amount of Vaseline on his parts are softly as possible. How'd it actually play out? As I took off his diaper and was wiping his bum he started peeing not toward me but back on himself and into his cut- he immediately started screaming and kicking! You know how strong babies are! I couldn't control him- he was kicking so hard he was his little guy with your foot, thighs, hands, etc! Blood was everywhere, I tried to hold his arms AND legs AND put on Vaseline (note: putting Vaseline on dry skin, easy. Putting Vaseline on anything damp...IMPOSSIBLE!) I worked as fast I could, trying to sing softly to Baby Ben at the same time but by the end he had blood on the outside of his diaper, my hands, his legs, his hands and soooo upset. I was a mess I texted Tom in sobs and he immediately called me and while I was calming Ben down he calmed me down. It was tough. For the next few days EVERYTIME Ben's diaper needed to be changed Tom and I tagged-teamed it. I was lovely hold his arms and sing to him and Tom would hold his legs and do the changing and adding Vaseline. I think Sunday was the first day Ben seemed good enough to be changed without any discomfort!

It's so funny. We don't live any other Law of Moses but this one...right? And please, I'm NOT saying I'm against it by any means! I just understand MORE how my mom refused to have her third son cut because it was just too hard and sad for Momma bear. (the rest of that story is my dad refused not to have it done and took Scott in himself). I'm sure Scott is relieved you all know this! lol

Okay and Ben woke up after just 10 minutes....SEE I don't know if napping is really gonna be in the cards today! Even if I WERE trying to sleep, his sleeping today is like his nighttime sleeping- waking up way too often from mom to even doze off.

Lastly, I just wanted to throw out what my Ben's personality is like. For starters, he LOVES music. We have had a good handful of experiences where he is absolutely in that screaming stage of inconsolableness but when I sing "Adelvice" From the Song of Music (I don't like show tunes or musicals though kid...your mom and dad can't stand them!!!!) He is also very assertive. When there's any kind of noise he's looking around for it- a car engine, birds chirping, whatever.


Oh and he's SUPER sensitive to any kind of confrontational tones. I was watching The Simpson's and anytime Homer would shout "D'oh" Ben would shake and give his scowl. And the other day I was watching a drama on hulu and a couple was arguing and Ben's eyes got really big and he just did NOT like it. It just reaffirms how sweet and tender newborn spirits are and how important it is to Tom and me to be continuously aware of how we are with each other and our tones in any settling. It has made it more difficult to listen to Rush though. I LOVE listening to Rush! But now, Lil Ben just hears the intensity (whether sarcastic or not) and doesn't like it. I don't want my lil guy hearing anything that might be preceived as scary, Chineese, Communistic rederic, poor little guy.