Starting Over

We've now been in Arlington, Texas for four weeks! Overall, it has gone by very fast; fast and very busy... I'm almost too tired to type about it. But I will because I think it's important.

It's interesting in the last year we have consolidated our stuff down to less than ever before- its been for the good as we have needed to lessen the load, help pay off debt, and help our stuff fit in a smaller space. A few years ago Tom's grandpa sent out a Christmas letter saying something to the affect that after he left the Air Force he got rid of all his belongings except for a suitcase and a backpack. I really liked that thinking- it reminds me of that quote, "Things you own end up owning you." Thus, we've started over with less than we had when we first got married, heck even way less than when we were both single and truly we've never been better!

First, the move. The weeks before we moved were packed. There was not an hour that wasn't accounted for, it was nuts. Trying to visit everyone we wanted was impossible and even now it's annoying to think of all the friends we just didn't have time to visit. GRR (Sorry Emily, Michele, etc.)

After church on February 23rd we drove down to my parents and had a dinner where Bek and her family came as well as another of my favorite people, Marie Winegardener and her husband Dave. My mom also asked a friend to take photos and I'm excited to see when they're done. The big activity that evening was watching family slides! Okay, I know for some watching slides is grueling but in the White House its awesome! The highlights were seeing slides from my dad's mission in Australia as tons of unsolicited comments from us snarky kids were added but dad was a great sport and really they were cool photos! We also re-looked at my parents wedding, Rex's and my births but by the time we got there it was after 8:30pm and we still had to get home, finish packing and start early the next morning so we couldn't stay longer, as it was Ben screamed SCREAMED for a good 30 minutes after we got home around 10pm, it sucked.

I can't remember when we went to bed that night nor when we got up the next morning but I know we were tired. We loaded up the moving truck with help from a couple guys from the ward and help from my brothers, Scott, Brian (both who have backs like mine, except Brian's who's still way more messed up from his accident a couple years ago) and Scott's girlfriend Gretchen and my mom who kept Ben out of trouble!

We were able to load up the moving truck and have everything cleaned up and keys turned in about an hour. Then we drove up to north Portland began packing our two moving pods, both 7x6x8. For the record that is not a lot of space. I got so nervous! I was freaked we were going to have to try and sale couches or just drop them off at a Goodwill BUT we were able to make it all fit! Oh and during all this the rain was majorly coming down! We were all soaked for a few hours.

After we finished we all went out to lunch, said a last goodbye and then drove a doctor's appointment for injections, YES they are THAT important to me! From there we checked into our hotel close to the airport where the girl who promised to buy my car several weeks earlier kept her promise and bought it! (Side note she was VERY nice! I kind of want to text her to see how she's doing with her pregnancy but I'm afraid JUST in case the car decided to die after we left or something horrible that wasn't fore scene) Anyway, I said goodbye to my little Focus of 10 1/2 years! Lacey and Ryan also came up for a last supper (pizza) and we all hung out until Tom and I could barely keep our eyes open. We woke up Tuesday morning, wolfed down a continental breakfast and took a shuttle to the airport. Ben did pretty good through the whole trip, in fact, the almost 4 hour flight flew by (no pun intended). And soon after we met Cassi and her two boys (Jackson and Keegan) at baggage claim. As Tom was getting Ben in his carseat I got a bit emotional and needed some husband hugs for a few moments.

Fast forward three weeks- a TON as been accomplished: reorganized kitchen, pantry, raked and bagged 36 40lb bags of leaves and branches, unloaded and put our new bedrooms together and completely unpacked everything, helped clean out tile to-be-grouted-lines and then grouted about 1000 sqft, and sealed the floors, helped Cassi organize her room, got Tom a new license (I'm stalling as long as I can- I like my Oregon license dang it!) We've (I) also found a car and will be picking it up today or tomorrow! Oh it's a Saab =) 2001 4-door TURBO Super exciting!!!

Things I don't understand about Texas:

• First thing I noticed before we even got here was how ridiculous car prices are. For instance... here you'll find a trillion ford taurus' or chrysler vans or any normal, typical domestic car way over priced. Like, people want a ton for their junky, banged-up 200K miles+ re-built title crapper. But on the other hand people sale their 80K miles, in fantastic shape imports for a steal! You'd think, okay maybe Texans just want their American made cars but....there are tons of BMW's and VW's and Mercades everywhere I guess Texans just have no idea what good a Saab and/or Volvos are?! (Totally their loss and their loss is our gain).  
• People don't have gutters here. It makes ZERO sense! ESPECIALLY with how the dirt reacts to water (like oil and water) it makes even MORE sense to have gutters but nope!
• My sense of direction is shot to heck here!
• My garmmies have been destroyed in just a few weeks. Help me figure this one out please. I know I'm an easy sweater but it hasn't even been hot yet. I know I've been doing HEAVY, hard labor and def have been sweating a lot while being in a dusty environment, but my garmmies all have dark brownish stains in the armpits like they were used to clean dark mud....????? Am I sweating out toxins or is it a sign I eat WAY too much chocolate and now I'm actually sweating it out?!
• This isn't really a Texas issue but my period has been insane the last few months. I've had 2-3 periods just 13 days apart and this last one was 20 days apart so I guess its getting better?!

Things I am enjoying:

• Having girl company all the time. Cassi is the best! I am absolutely spoiled in the in law department! 
• There are some awesome converts in my new ward whom I assume were southern baptists at one point so during sacrament meeting and relief society there's a lot of "Amen!'s and "Amen Lord" and "Yes ma'am!'s" etc etc I LOVE IT! 
• For the MOST part Ben and his cousins get along pretty well!

Last Sunday with the White Family

Moving van

After loading pods and finishing lunch

Ben calls the iPod his "mePod"

During the first week we arrived Tom went with Cassi and the boys to the zoo (I was home sick for a moment I thought I was pregnant but then remembered you don't get morning sickness on day 9 lol)

Loving the Merry-Go-Around

Playing at one of several parks close to home with older cousin Jackson

Ben LOVES to get dizzy!!

Results are in and the winner is...

I put Ben down a couple minutes ago and decided to write! Interestingly enough this is the first nap in a while I haven't gone down with him. If ONLY I had forced myself to take naps in the first year...man I wonder how different life would have turned out? Deep thoughts indeed. but yes I have been taking regular naps for the last several weeks and life has been better.

I think the most noteworthy information has to do with my X-ray results. (Drum roll please) Finds are I have moderate to severe scoliosis, the words my doctor said were, "Its not quite severe but saying its moderate its putting it lightly." I also have arthritis in the curvature areas (jealous?) lol this last Friday I got injections from the rheumatologist and it was a very different experience from the countless before it. It was a much more gentle procedure, I didn't have swelling or welts but I wish I had had more b/c it seemed like I got a children's aspirin dose instead of codeine, ya know? I go back in Monday to have more done on my back since the last ones were only in my shoulders. The doctor said he only does a certain amount each visit or its not as effective or something...or maybe this way he gets TWO co-pays? Either way its still a WHOLE heck of a lot cheaper than what I was paying before!

Treatment for scoliosis is pretty bleak but I'm going to start swimming laps once we get to Texas and I should also be pairing it with physical therapy and further injections. I'm also on a regular dose of twice a day muscle relaxers (low dose to start off). They alone make me sleepy added to the other two meds that cause drowsiness- its a miracle I'm not sleeping 18 hour days! :) One interesting side effect of muscle relaxers is they can make you extra irritable- a lot like PMS. So...Watch Out!

Texas. No definite date yet. Tom had his third interview yesterday and should be hearing back Wednesday on an offer and starting date. I guess Texas would have him asap but they want to give the store he's currently at time to replace him so anywhere from 3-5 weeks.

We sold Tom's Saab last Saturday. Tom took it like a trooper. I think I'm still having issues honestly. I think I'm in between the stages of anger and grief.

Everything is back to normal with Ben's room. After several weeks of dehumidifiers and commercial/industrial fans going 24/7 the apartment decided to pull down the ceiling, which had asbestos in it so it was quarantined and we stayed at a hotel. In all, Ben was in our room for about two weeks so this last Sunday we had to do sleep training all over again. I know I know JEALOUS again! It has gone better than expected though so I'm happy about that!

Ben. Ben has been talking more and more and better and better each day. It's wonderful and kinda sad because it means he's getting older and bigger and I wish he were a little new born all over again. =) I really know my favorite stage is the first two months. Yes, your body and mental state are mush but I love the little little baby stage the most!

Goodbye 2013

I know I've mentioned before how blah I am about New Years. I think it was a lot more fun when I was single and that excitement of "COULD THE ONE BE HERE AT THE DANCE TONIGHT??" Or I guess if Tom and I were drinkers we'd go bar hopping or something but obviously that's not us. So instead we treat last night like any other Sunday; enjoying the family time and not looking forward to work the next day. However...Any holiday, fun or not I am WAY more happy to be right here and now then all those years of longing and waiting so really, this is the best way to spend New Years (plus I remember everything from the night before and have ZERO regrets waking up to the guy next to me!)

Honestly, 2013 was rough. It kinda reminds me of 2003 now that I think of it. That while 2003 was jammed full of weddings and super big learning adventures, it was a very hard year where my headache/migraines peaked, I got terribly messed up from a prescription drug that is now one of those "if you or a loved one took 'blank' and has been experiencing long lasting effects contact So-and-So for a trillion dollar lawsuit" and lost 50 lbs. in 10 weeks and almost all of it muscle loss (not to mention very noticeable hair loss). While my headaches are now few and far between, the cause of them and the much bigger issue seems to be getting worse.

There is not a day that goes by that I am not hurting and wishing I had a live-in massage therapist. I don't mean massages with hot rocks and soothing music and light rub downs (though that sounds calming) I mean someone using their elbow (because hands and mechanical massage tools are too wide and are as effective as good intentions. When I have Tom work on my back and shoulders he has to use his elbow, body weight and gravity. It hurts really bad but it's the only thing that makes it feel loose and better. What does it feel like? My shoulders, along the underneath of my blades feel like I have ligaments pulled so tight I SWEAR I have been tempted to beg Tom to take a pair of scissors and just dig in the areas and just cut the ligaments/muscles entirely. I know it sounds gruesome. Beside those tight areas I'm so flippin sore along the rest of my shoulders that even a light pat or hug can hurt. 

Now for the interesting part! On Monday I FINALLY had X-rays done that I had been putting off (don't ask why) I was completely prepared to hear that nothing was found and my diagnosis would be somewhere in myofascial pain (close to fibromyalgia) and not have any real plan of fixing it. But... something was found. The X-ray tech was super nice and showed me all my X-rays. First was my neck. I already knew my head doesn't sit on my neck correctly but I got to see what it was doing exactly and compared to a healthy alignment- pretty interesting. I guess you could say I'm part ostrich. My shoulders: Not much was found but the tech said that is very typical b/c I was having X-rays not CAT scans done so picking up on muscle and ligament issues was gonna be pretty non-existant. My Back: ahhh my back. At first when the tech showed me I was like oh no I must have been standing weird I don't think I was standing straight but the tech was like I'm sure you were but let's do it over again just to make sure- same result- crookeder than a politician! I was shocked. I mean it makes sense I just wasn't expecting to see anything wrong. The lumbar is shaped about the same as...hmmm like a half oval? I think my follow up appt is next week and we'll see if my rheumatologist will refer me to an orthopedic specialist or what?  

Aside from the physical stuff 2013 kicked my butt depression and anxiety wise. I'm doing a few treatments and feeling a little more confident but overall its not something I ever experienced during my youth or 20's. I think it has been a HUGE humbling experience overall. I know Elder Holland talked about mental/emotional issues should not be any different than talking about high blood pressure, etc but I still struggle with acceptance. There are times where I feel an extra big wave coming and there's not much I can do other than recognizing it and knowing it will eventually leave after a few days. 

Now for the POSITIVE!

• 2013 marked one more year closer to 2016 election so THAT'S comforting. ;) 
• Benny turned 2 in September
• Ben's a great swimmer
• Has really great manners -saying thank you most of the time without being reminded! =)
• He loves hanging out with other kids
• He LOVES nursery! 
• He's gone potty on his potty a few times though I haven't seriously started potty training
• He's grown a ton! Wears 3 yr old clothes and some 4's (b/c I know he'll be there soon)

Tom and I worked out butts off and made our goal to pay off Department of Education before Christmas! 

Balance as of December 31, 2012

Balance as of December 31, 2013

• Tom is now working just one full time job and has been home more-ish and I am soooo happy for it! (So is Ben)
• I have finally felt what it means to be baby hungry. Hungry but not starving! ;)
• And I really should have mentioned this first!!! We have been soooo blessed all year by family, friends, co-workers, strangers, etc. I absolutely know not a day goes by that we don't feel spoiled so much for the lives we had, things we have and don't have. Healthy, happy, sweet Ben, employment of plenty, beautiful country! 

I know there are so many other things that happened like Lacey getting married but I'm running late!

2014 is going to be a totally new adventure and we are SO flippin excited! 

Bucket List

Once Tom and I decided we were Texas bound we wrote out an "Oregon Bucket List". I kinda see it like this; you're either a native Oregonian or your from anywhere else. Because whether you're a NewYork: Hard-A or a Californian: nose-job-in-the-air or Texan: Go big or go home attitude they all kinda fit in the same box of proving they are the best whereas Oregonians...we're FINE letting everyone have their styles, attitudes, cultures, etc., because we don't TRY to be cool, we don't care and THAT'S what makes us the coolest. lol

And with that sassiness said its going to be hard leaving Oregon. I really like being an hour from the snowy mountains (not that I have EVER skied or been up to Timberline Lodge- you know where The Shining was filmed) and an hour to the coast (Where mermaids live). But I AM excited for a change. I can't promise I won't get me a pair of boots right away and wear button-up blouses with a jean jacket and always have straw hanging out my mouth ;) but I CAN promise I will NEVER switch to country music. SICK.

Oregonian Bucket List:

Visit OMSI
Visit Portland Zoo
Visit Silver Creek Falls
Visit Beach
Visit Mt. Hood
Visit Crater Lake

OMSI: On Friday night after Tom got off work from Apple we went to his RVKuhn's Christmas party. This marked our first time going out without Ben in 13 months. However, I do NOT count it as a date. Sitting with Tom's co-workers he barely even knows himself and trying to have conversation when all I really want is to have a quiet dinner with JUST my husband. So Friday was NOT a date! However, the Christmas party WAS at OMSI so we can count it towards our bucket list.

FYI: OMSI's exhibit is a Sherlock Holmes thing and well...it was lame. I guess you would like it if you were completely not analytical which is EXTREMELY ironic! The whole thing is you are shown a crime scene and you have stations where you try and "solve" the case from absolutely non essential crime scenes clues or false clues more like. But me being such an analytical person I was asking a thousand questions to the OMSI guides and personal helper who had already gone through it and knew the answers. Why am I even bring this up? It really bothered me! EVERY question I asked HAD everything to do with the answers/motive and ZERO of the "clues" had anything to do with the actual crime thus it makes me mad that the whole scenario is set up to make people challenge their observation skills when the reality is the scenario is TRULY set up to make people feel stupid by tricking them that they could "solve" a fake crime with zero information.

Portland Zoo: Tuesday night was buy one get one at the zoo so we went as soon as Tom got off work. Like most of U.S. Oregon has been super cold, way colder than we normally experience: highs in the teens and lows in the single digits. So we bundled up as close to A Christmas Story younger brother bundled while still being able to move. Every year the zoo does a fantastic display of "Zoo Lights" and this was the first time we've ever gone, heck, first time any of us has been to a zoo is years and years. My skepticism about the experience was pretty spot on. The actual zoo lights? Impressive. Actually seeing animals AT NIGHT and out in super cold weather when they are suppose to be in tropical/desert climates....let down. Most animals were "put away" for the night so they wouldn't DIE. We thought we saw the polar bear asleep way off but other than a white blur I can't be sure...it could have been a ghost. The elephant exhibit (MY FAVORITE ANIMAL) was closed but we could put our faces against the glass doors and see where they were kept. They were turned away from us so all you could make out was the little legs of the baby elephant under the big momma and her cute big bum. Animals we DID see???...HUGE fish, a coiled up anaconda (barely), bats, and a very depressing looking monkey.

For the record, and this might be a SHOCKER to some. I'm not PRO-zoo's. Call it my liberal side or whatever but I don't like it! There is no way any of those animals are happy is a space so small and living in an environment nothing like their natural. It always reminds me of Jurassic Park when the T-Rex doesn't want to be fed, he/she wants to hunt!

By the time we hurried through the park it was late and Ben's hands were so red and cold even with wearing gloves. So he got a hot bath when we got home.

As the the rest of the bucket list, we will hit what we can when we can. And as for a REAL DATE- that is coming next Thursday when its my birthday and you better believe Lacey will be watching Benny-Boop and we're going out!

In other news: Things are going well here. Tom changed to full time on November 25th and because he rarely used his vacation days he had over 3 weeks built up so technically he's on vacation with RVK since November 23rd and then he'll go back on Monday for one day and it will be his last. Tom is liking working at Apple full though he hasn't gotten use to working retail and being on his feet all day. It was kinda funny during Thanksgiving dinner we went around saying what we were thankful for and Tom said he was thankful to be going down to just full time. lol. Here, here.

I wish I had REMEMBERED to take photos at Thanksgiving! ahhh Well here's a week before at Baskin Robbins! Ya they still exist! 

This is his "Ben, smile!" face.

We went down town PDX last week and this was Ben's first time on a train! He loved it!

This is Ben saying LET ME IN ITS FREEZING OUT HERE!

Yep, that's a leash.

Tom laid on the floor and Ben went right over and this is how he wanted to snuggle =)

Ben was kinda weary about the bear

The Stars at Night are Big and Bright...

It's official, we will be moving to Fort Worth, Texas!

It's crazy even typing it like what??? really??? I'm such a damp Oregonian and though my politics are way closer to Texans than this blue state I like being an out spoken Tea Party-er in a sea of bleeding hearts than preaching to the choir but it will be fine.

When we announced our plans to my family the first thing Lacey said was, "umm do you know Jessica can't handle heat? She gets diarrhea!" Which is very true. My temperature tolerance is weak at best but I'll be fine. I'm kinda hoping the heat will sweat out the toxins and clean my system- totally NOT logical at all but I can still hope heat and humidity has powers beyond unclogging pores and causing diarrhea! Plus, when we went to South Dakota last year I learned first hand how windy it is on the plains and Arlington area is apparently no different. It's encouraging. I'm not so afraid of heat and humidity when there is plenty of wind. When I was in Houston in July though it was outrageously humid and hot there was plenty of wind and I will admit it was pleasant. =)

I'm also excited to experience a "real rain storm" since I've been told I don't know what a "real down pour looks like"....please BUT I am still excited and yes I will have zero reservations with running out into the street like a mad woman to let it soak into my skin. Man just thinking about it sounds so good. I'm not so excited that Fort Worth is on the tail of Tornado alley, close to the gulf i.e. hurricane stuff but I'm not afraid.

MOSTLY, I'm thrilled for Tom to be in a program he REALLY wants -mechanical/aero-space dual bachelors degree! I'm excited to get him through school faster, how fast? That has yet to be determined as I still have student loans that I believe can not be deferred and we do NOT want to take out student loans for Tom to pay mine- that's just STUPID! I will be working at least part time somewhere doing something. I'll let my merchandising job know I am still available to cover any summer installs or even stores within the area if needs be too.

Tom got promoted to "expert" at Apple last week. Basically, it means they like his leadership and work ethic and the whole position is to help others to follow his example. It doesn't sound like a big deal but they interviewed several people and just like when he was first applying he went through FOUR interviews (pretty excessive). He will be quitting his full time job in the middle of December and will be full time at Apple. It will be the first time in our entire marriage he'll only be working one job and fingers crossed he'll be home more often! It if its only for a few months until he starts school in Texas and it goes back he him gone 15+ hours a day and only having Sundays off.

In other news we are super excited to be paying off department of education by the end of the year! It's been a year long goal to do it and not without a lot of Heavenly Father's help and us sacrificing a ton!!! We are very happy. Believe me I want to get snooty every time I see photos of peoples' fun trips all over the world while we haven't had a real date out since well last November actually but its okay, really. I know there will be a day we will get to do the same and without getting into debt to do so and coming home without debt waiting for us either. Oh what a happy day it will be. But I have to say its a happy day now. I mean it. I know I've said this before, debt sucks BIG TIME but I'm thankful that we have had this time to rely on each other more than ever but mostly rely on the Lord and see first hand the out pouring in blessings that come from working towards being self sufficient and working as a team AND being grateful for what we have now!