Hallow-das, Oddie-das that is

Thank you Michele N. for indirectly reminding me I never posted photos from a thousand years ago, ie Halloween!

Before treat-or-treating. Ben enjoying pizza crust. I think my two guys were super into a sports game or something...the looks are intense!

 

 

 

Putting Ben back in his Indian Jones costume was TOO much work, especially with the rolling boulder following his and knocking him over every couple of seconds so we popped him in a tiger outfit and went to a few houses. Ben wasn't quite sure what was going on but it was cute.

 

Brian lives just across the street from us and visits once in awhile.

Grandma comes and babysits and is SO good with Ben!

Me without make-up. It's not a statement. It's me being lazy.

 

I thought I would show a little bit of what I do for work...I guess I'm THAT bored today!

Before

After

Before

After

Certainly not my best work but whatev.





Saturday Night Fever

In a word: busy. The past few weeks have been…BUSY. I want to call every one of you everyday but like I’ve said, I’ve been busy and when I remember I either allow myself to get distracted again or its 10pm like it is now and though I think most of you are up too, this is the time of night where I’m lucky if I can put a coherent thought together (and it’s a miracle I’m even typing ;)

Saturday started off fine. It had been a long week consisting of Tom working (5) 12 hour days and one 8 ½ day, me finding out the full-timer Portland Adidas chick had crossed over to the dark side (Nike) and thus a bunch of accounts were open for the taking. (side note: I don’t think I’ve mentioned before how I’ve been jobless since September due to major cut backs. I will say its VERY interesting that I was making MORE on unemployment than I was working but that’s b/c it was taking in account me working full time 18 months ago.) Anyway, I find out I have work again and I was getting nervous. Work makes me nervous. Merchandising sounds very glamorous but its more like EXTREMELY exhausting and physically straining, plus I had to figure out babysitting and that’s more stress; how will Ben do? Will his naps get off schedule? Am I going to be an even worse mom due to being extra stressed again? BUT I am happy this time around Ben doesn’t rely on mommy milk for food like he did a year ago and NEVER took a bottle..ahhh that was SO hard!

Okay, Saturday. It was 4:30pm. Ben and I were in Costco eating 2 sausage dogs without buns with onions and mustard and a little ketup (yep, BEN LOVES THEM). I was stressing because it was a grocery shopping day, it was our 3^rd place though spread out before and after a nap but nonetheless Ben had had enough and was a pain. He wouldn’t stay in the carts seat, I rarely can keep him in that thing, and he was using our groceries to stand on in attempt to climb out of the cart itself! I had him under one arm and holding my pop with the other and trying to throw away our garbage with…a 3^rd hand while keeping it away from Ben as he was trying to put his hand in the left over mustard AGAIN. While I was juggling all this a woman came up and asked if she could help (super nice) and all I could get out was, “I JUST NEED MY HUSBAND HOMES ON SATURDAYS!” I didn’t yell or anything just said it desperately. I was actually totally surprised I said it without crying! –I really think me not having my satan stick in my arm anymore is helping me!

Ben was tough on the way home too. We got home around 5:00pm. Tom wouldn’t be home for at least another hour and a half. Ben was very cranky but I didn’t put him down for a second nap because I knew he was extra cranky due to being in a car seat and grocery cart or in his crib for most of the day already. He just needed to run around the get the wiggles out and better yet ME play with him! But me being me, I started ironing. For the record I don’t like ironing, but its one of those acts of service thingies I do…bla bla bla. As I started to set up the iron and ironing board Ben was around my ankles crying, he wanted me to play and I didn’t. I was mad. I was SO mad and I was mad at Tom! Why? Because I was exhausted and tired and my wave had crashed and I needed help, I didn’t want to spend my day grocery shopping I wanted to do ANYTHING and just go somewhere without having to take 5 minutes to plan it out in between naps and snacks and whatevers. I was mad that Tom wasn’t there helping and that I hadn’t had any help with him the whole week as Tom is gone some days before Ben wakes up and gets home after he’s asleep and if he’s home it’s a few minutes in the morning with Ben and right before Ben goes down to sleep so ya I’m doing it by myself. I was glad Tom didn’t get home right then too because I think I would have exploded.

The next 2 hours felt like I heard every tick of the clock tock. When Tom called on his way home I immediately said, “I’m in a SUPER bad mood! I’m tired, Ben’s tired, he wants someone to play with him but I’ve been doing other crap that needs to get done and he won’t eat his food again, I don’t know what to do, I’m just done!” Tom answered back in his calm, reassuring voice: “Okay, I’m coming home as fast as I can.”

When he walked through the doors he came right over to me (after he picked up Ben who ran to him and hugged his legs, I mean how cute is that?) As he got closer to me I said, “No I’m in such bad mood I don’t even want you to touch me!” He still came closer and put his arms around me and said, “I’m here.” I started to unload.

“I just wanted to go out to dinner but now its too late and its Ben’s bedtime and he’s really tired. And I’m hungry and frustrated and I’m mad at you though its not like I’m REALLY mad at you. I don’t want to change places with you and work like a dog and go to school. I just want to get out and not be home like you do.” Tom replied, “I know… what can I do? What would you like for dinner?”

“I don’t know!” I barked back though I KNEW what I wanted.

“Do you want your Carl’s Jr’s burger you love?” (Gac bacon $6 burger in a wrap WITH halopinos added)

“NO”

“Do you want mozzarella sticks from Arby’s?”

“NO”

“Do you want Olive Garden’s salad?”

“NO” (yes)

“….”

“Well I do but Ben’s not going to tolerate a restaurant. Maybe carry out Apple Bee’s?” (like I needed to ask)

“You got it, do you want me to go get it or go together?”

“Together.”

We got in the car. It was dark and raining hard, my favorite. I didn’t say anything, just cried. Tom reached over and held my hand. After a few minutes I started talking and just unloading feeling better by the minute. I mentioned I wanted Pecan pie and he said, “you got it!”

When we got the apple bee’s carry out I dug in right away and then I really started feeling better, not knowing how hungry I really was. Tom drove to a pie shop but they were out of pecan so he drove over to Safeway and got one including my favorite kind of flavored water, diet dp and chocolate milk.

We got home and put Ben down. I sang him extra songs, feeling guilty for not playing with him and dragging him all over down the whole day- the whole time he was looking at me or planting his face in my shoulder and cooing along to the familiar songs with the occasional leaning in and kissing me.

When I had finished putting him down I came out to find an extra large slice of diabetes heaven aka Pecan Awesome Pie wanting for me! I cuddled up to my love and thanked him over and over again for the best date! It really was.

Really, it wasn’t the pie or the spinach dip or diet cherry dp he got me, it wasn’t even how sincerely quick he was about doing all of it that really touched me. What meant the most was my wave had crashed but I wasn’t the only one tired and frustrated and tapped out. I knew he was too. There are times my wave crashes at the same time Tom needs his cave time and I sacrifice my needing to be needy until he’s had his time out first- those times are SO hard! But more than not its him who waits taking his time out so he can take care of me. It sounds easy but I know it can’t be…please I know HOW needy and pathetic I get! Lol

After watching some The Office and Park & Recreation dvd style we went to bed. I heard Ben crying a bit but it was different then a typical tossing and turning crying so I went in to check it out. He was restless and upset and hot, VERY hot. He had never had a fever like this before, he had never been any sick before. The closest he’s ever gotten is when he gets shots, they make him ill for the rest of the day and that’s a about it. I gave him medicine to cut the fever but he was so upset and wouldn’t hold still, he just didn’t know what to do either =(

Tom gave him a blessing and he soon went back to sleep. He woke up several more times through out the night and by morning we were all wiped out and totally missed church. He’s still a little sick. I can tell he has a sore throat and his runny nose has begun producing the yellow/green last part of the cold nasty. He has eaten so little the past few days I have no idea how he hasn’t lost major weight!? Thank goodness he’s still been drinking milk/chocolate milk!

I’ve worked every day so far this week and I’ll work again Friday. I really will only work 4 days a month and I just scheduled everything in one week for convince (won’t do that again) I hurt everywhere!

POLITICAL MOMENT: I honestly want to section off America. Seriously. Civil-war it out. But it can’t be North/South…its been done. And it can’t be West Coast/East Coast, that’s gangish. So…maybe Northwest/Southeast?  I asked Tom if its okay I feel this way and he doesn’t think its good- we’re America, we’re united. But we’re not “united” I’m freaked out. Everything EVERRRRRYYYYYTTTTHHHHIIIIIIINNNNGGGG I’m so fiscally, morally, ethically, socially outraged about is only getting worse with the promise its going to keep getting worse! I don’t want a socialist government. So I want you people over there and we people over here! Have your government there and we’ll have ours or I should say LACK OF! I know it would only be a matter of minutes before people started digging under our walls to get in to our side and be freed from taxes and political bondage. 

WHAT A PAIN!

A few weeks ago I was talking with someone who just had their umpteen baby and I asked how the labor went and she said:
"Really good actually, he/she was natural like the first so only this one and (blank) wasn't natural!"
And I answered back, "What? I didn't know you had a c-section with (blank)?"
"Oh No, I meant I didn't need or use drugs."
"Ohhh gotcha."
At the time I didn't think anything about it but later when I recalled it I CHOSE to let me get in my "pain wound".
I'm sorry, did you or did you NOT have a baby get pushed out your yoo-hoo, or va-jay-jay, your whatever you wanna call it, place? If YOU did you had he/she NATURAL! Period.
Whether or not you used the miracle of drugs does not take away the fact that the baby came out by natural means: the natural, traditional, purposeful exit. YES, this subject DOES get me heated up quite a bit!
On a few difficult levels. Do I think women who have had babies without drugs are incredible? absolutely but unless pain level can be 100% transferable and relatable to another, pain is subjective. Thus, what is a 3 to someone could be a 7 to another.
For example, I have an aunt who had 5 kids, all every short labors and births, like less than 2 hours all together and for her she said they hurt but not exhausted was fine and ready to go home soon after. Than there are women who will labored steady for days and only upon extreme violent measures finally dialated to a ten and after recalled thinking they were completely convinced they WERE dying, there was no surviving the child birth.
I think women who had babies without drugs simply because they weren't available are amazing. I think women who chose not to use drugs to "have an authentic experience," are truly diluted if not secretly hiding their agenda of boasting later. It's insulting and a good way to lose respect.
I guess my point is this: IF you have a high pain tolerance, which again there is no way to objectively prove it but for conversations sack, if you have that super hero power that's awesome, truly, but please no one's going to give you a metal and its mean to throw it in peoples faces, and DO NOT USE THE THE TERM "NATURAL" to describe your super powers! Can I get a Amen?
Okay I'm going down off my soap box...  (I feel better :)

It's Raining, It's Pouring, It's Beautiful

I’m trying to think of what’s new to tell and really nothing is new. Maybe that’s a good thing? I know this election has been driving my IBS nuts-o. I simply can’t handle it anymore. It’s not “negative adds” some people complain about that annoys me it’s the nervousness of it all. The cramps that come from every channel telling me the “latest polls” which I think are bogus; the bubbling of stomach pressure after eating like mad and pacing the floor while the “non-biased commentator” clearly feeds a candidate his lines and wondering IS EVERYONE else seeing/hearing this? And HOPING America does but then when the debates’ over its immediately obvious that nope… media continues to ignore it and takes Americans for saps. I just want the conclusion NOW. Kinda like the nervousness of waiting to find out how many people and WHO Voltimort ends up killing before he’s destroyed before watching the last movie (or reading the last book if you’re someone who reads, which I don’t).

It’s really quite weird that November is NEXT week. It’s really…gosh what’s my feeling on it? Humm I like it! And taken-back that its HERE! I got Ben’s Halloween outfit mostly put together I think I’m just a little stuck on the jacket BUT I think its gonna be awesome. It’s not from anything I’ve seen or heard of but from my own imagination. I remember Bek saying, oh gosh, YEARS ago how she could see especially me having so much fun dressing up my kids for Halloween and I was like umm ok sure..? But Ya, she was right (yet again) it has been pretty fun. I enjoyed last years 45 min before going to the ward party and thinking ok I have no costume, zero money, what the crap should I do? Then it hit me, oh dah he’s baby Harry Potter and I’ll go as Hagrid and we did and got a TON of compliments, there was only one woman who didn’t get it but she admitted she’d only seen one of the movies years ago and didn’t remember anything expect it was “too violent” oh and she was like 90 years old and asked if it was okay that I was cross-dressing. Haha

I’ll put up pictures after Friday (that’s when I’ll be taking him to Tom’s kid work party and prob the ward party day too) I predict now that Ben won’t hold on to his candy bucket and upon receiving a treat will take it out of his bucket and throw it. And really I think the biggest challenge will be keeping his costume on him and not letting him take it all off! I mean please…

It’s funny the thought of candy does nothing for me. Seriously. I love me some peanut M&M’s now and again but I haven’t had any for a quite some time and they still don’t sound all that exciting. Woo hoo! HOWEVER, Lacey did come stay with me for a few days last week and brough ice cream with her….DANG her! Lol My latest food kick I’ve been on (WHICH I’m happy I’m ON one!) has been BLT’s I have a big ‘ol lettuce bed SLATHERED with a pretty awesome amount of Mayo (really I don’t want to say how much but it’s quite fantastic) and a LOT of bacon (on the too-cooked side which I like) and a few slices of tomatoes which I’m NOT suppose to be eating but…I AM! I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned in my last blog but I’m supposed to be on meats and fats only diet, no veggies. I haven’t been very good at it. I think variation is the toughest part of living as strict as I do. I often become easily irritated when I hear complaining about other “dieting restrictions” when they are sooo easy. But it all comes back and down to my fairness issue getting poked at and Tom helps remind me (yet again) to not compare and try to concentrate on what I have. In fact, I came across one of those World Traveler shows showing life ANYWHERE but the US and wow… it’s not like I haven’t seen any of those striking, unimaginable realties many times before but come on!!!! How can it not stop ya right in your tracks and make you IMMEDIATELY think…ya MY problems are NOT problems! Starvation, exposure, flooding, droughts, no readily available doctors, medicines, hospitals, vaccines, I don’t face thousands of years-long civil war, sex trade, no one’s threatening my personal life due to my gender, race, religion, I have access to education, free enterprise, so many freedoms and rights/rites.    

With that said, I have a doctors appointment next week and I can’t tell you HOW ready I am for it! Among other check-up things I am going to get this bloody B.C. out of my body. Detesting birth control is nothing new nor are the known effects it has on me but this year long experiment is SO over! NOOOOooo I’m not trying to get pregnant. I still need time to get back to normal mentally and a second baby still freaks me out THOUGH the idea of having a little girl IS appealing. I am worried of going through another 9 months of morning sickness, gaining another Lindsay Lohan WITHOUT fully losing the one I still have, and now afraid more than EVER about going through labor!!!! Oh and I want to have the full experience of excitement and longing first!   

Gazelle Intense

In a nutshell: We moved.

In the novel version: We needed a bigger place. There was no getting around it. Living a year in the same bedroom with a baby proved TOUGH! But even if the apartment was a two bedroom I needed a change! I KNOW! Me? Wanting, actually seeking out change??? Yep.

Tom and I started VERY early looking for a new place. Our lease expired (expires) September 20^th and we started packing back in March. OH YEAH we were ready! So we began the search in our own neighborhood but prices were/are pretty ridiculous. For instance, if we were to sign another year lease at our 1 bedroom rent was jumping about a hundred dollar and at the same complex a 2 bedroom was looking at two hundred more (not including water, sewer, trash, etc) so really three hundred more!

Tom and I looked all around the Portland area, which is pretty big for all those not familiar. We even looked into the possibility of buying a foreclosure that cost just a little more than my bachelors; the mortgage was the price of renting. I have to admit, I got excited! Really? Could we really make it work? HAVE A PLACE THAT’S OURS?! We can paint and really set some roots down! But when we wrote down a rough estimate of mortgage payment, property taxes divided into monthly chunks, then added the normal monthly expenses: groceries, gas, utilities, cell phones, etc, etc. all of a sudden buying, even a place that was SO cheap, was NOT a good idea!

I was bummed. Not so bummed I couldn’t get out of bed and constantly crying, nay, more like, “AH its not fair!” It’s like when you’re single and everyone you know is married or like in 1999 when interest rates on Hondas were 0% for 4 years and I SWEAR every senior in my high school had a brand new flippin car! (side note: to this day it’s the reason I HATE, HHHAAATTTEEE Hondas. Are they well made cars? Sure but I still hate them.)

I wanted to pout. “Everyone has a house but us!” Lol actually I wasn’t THAT upset but it’s making for a better blog! Shortly after I was listening to Dave Ramsey, which was a miracle in its self since I almost never get to listen to my favorite radio people: Rush is on when Ben’s taking his morning nap and the radio is in the bedroom. Dr. Laura is on that special HD radio or whatever its called that costs a couple trillion dollar thus I am not able to listen to her and Dave is on when Ben’s in bed and again…the radio is in the bedroom. But I must have turned it on while getting Ben ready for bed because a caller came on and it was totally exactly what I would have called-in to ask! The chick was saying how she and her husband were SUPER intense with the program and had been for a couple years but were finding themselves in a bit of a pit as they were working hard but it would still be several years until they were out of debt let alone until they could save up for a huge down payment on a home, etc. She needed some advice/encouragement! Dave answered back that while they were having a “poor me moment” to look back and recognize not only how much they had paid off in the time they started the program but also acknowledge how much they saved themselves by not getting into further debt/bad situation. Also, and probably most importantly, to stop comparing what other’s have because for the most part what other’s “have” is debt up to their eye balls; thus, was she (I) really envious of the grass on the other side? It was exactly what I needed to hear. Of course it’s not SO different from what I need to hear often. I wonder how many times Bek has lovingly and strongly tried to slap that envying streak from my perspective?!

Anyway, that whole bank foreclosure place was a great experience but it wasn’t the last! So we kept on looking. And funny enough we looked into my old apartment complex I lived at for 4.5 years with my roommate Kristin and then Emily and then Tom. We moved out because it was a two bedroom and though rent was reasonable it was too much for our “living on beans and rice budget” we moved and I was WELL aware that IF I were to try to come back we’d be looked at as “making too much” as the complex is section 42, 8 housing. Nonetheless we tried. And here’s the reason I’m even bringing this up! Yes, we did “make too much” to be allowed to live there and because I was super curious I asked, “So if I were to quit my job today (which would get rid of the income we were over) could we live there?” The answer: Yes. I also asked, again because I was SO curious, “IF I were instead not quit my job but get pregnant, would we qualify?” Answer, “Yes.” I wanted to barf.

I was upset. WAY more upset than the possibility of buying not working out. It’s the HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING, CORRUPT system. It’s SO disturbing how its designed, actually structured to keep people enslaved to it. It’s not motivating, or proactive. I understand how you could be turned down if you DIDN’T make enough for some places, that’s helping people to NOT get into a situation (oh wait…that happened, stupid Clinton administration FORCING banks to approve low-income persons into mortgages they were NEVER going to afford) but denying people housing because they make too much? That’s messed up!

During the last several months every time I looked up apartments I would see adds for a particular complex and every time I looked at it I dismissed it immediately. Tom and I even drove by it once but I didn’t even get out of the car. “No! This is NOT the place, it doesn’t feel right. It looks gross and dumpy, I hate it.” Maybe I should have just come out and said EXACTLY how I felt! Lol

We had honestly looked EVERYWHERE and had stopped counting places I personally went to- after 13, it way beyond ridiculous. I was tired, we both were and stressed-out and frustrated. Finally, Tom called on his way home from work right before our trip to SD, “I keep seeing adds for that place you REALLY don’t like, I’m gonna make an appointment to check it out.” I think my response was something like, “UGH FINNNNEeeeee.”

The next morning we did a walk through.  I admitted it WAS the nicest place we’d seen so far IN OUR BUDGET. Tom loved it. He was full on ready to hand ‘em over our application papers and fees and call it good. I wasn’t. I told Tom I had to drive to Salem and would think about it driving down and back and would have an answer that afternoon. How did it turn out? On my way back into Pdx I stopped at not 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 places but 5 more complexes! At the fifth place I thought I was totally settled to call THAT place home! It was bigger, bigger by 130sqft. It had a storage closet outside that was walk-in and HUGE! We could bring in our own washer and dryer and not have any hassles! The dining room was BIG enough for our table, chairs AND Ben’s high chair! Our bedroom was GIGAINTIC and included a second bathroom! And the place was ONLY $60 more a month than his place. It was SUCH a deal! I called Tom and was like, “I found the place I like!” Tom was less than enthused as I thought he would be. I mean come on only $60 bucks more and we wouldn’t have any of the issues the place he liked had. He told me it was up to me, whatever I decided/wanted he would agree with. I got off the phone and took a deep breath. I looked at each places’ floor plans with the monthly rent side by side. Though we were flying out the next morning and had no time to waste I sat there for what seemed like a LONG time. I looked at the place I liked, This is it! But….why does it feel weird? And Tom’s place? Why do I hate it so much? AHHHH I closed my eyes and said a prayer. And the memory of the foreclosure came into my head, specifically the reason WHY we didn’t go after it. I thought about the Dave caller. I thought about the last few years we’d been through and the reason we are going through them. And then I thought about our future. I thought about what “living like no one else NOW so later we can LIVE like no one else” means. I knew it meant: $60 a month = $720 a year or = $1440 for 2 years. It means sacrificing comfort and PRIDE. I called Tom a little later, “I turned in our applications to your place with our app fees and deposit.”

We got the keys to our new place on the 7^th – it was the latest the complex would hold it for us though he didn’t need it until the 20th. So for the first week I came over with Ben and dropped off as much as I could WITH Ben clinging to my leg screaming if I walked 2 feet away from him. I did NOT like our new place but I didn’t feel like we made a mistake either. On Saturday we moved everything over, in fact it took exactly 1 hour to load and unload the moving truck! We had great helpers =)

Tom immediately went to work on setting up the crib then our bed while I took care of getting the necessities put in their new place. It was later that evening when I had a change of heart.

IT WAS THE SHOWER. It’s awesome. It doesn’t look any different from any other shower but it FEELS like you are in a nice hotel shower. I’m funny, I know! I LOVE taking showers in new places AS LONG AS the shower is clean. The water is super hot, the water pressure is perfect and it’s way roomy- I just want to take 3 showers a day! Then that night Ben slept in his own room. He didn’t fuss at all. I think HE was wanting him own room just as much.

The apartment has windows on both ends not just on one wall so we get a great cross breeze PLUS we are on the second floor and high enough that it would be pretty hard to climb up the balcony so we leave the sliding down open all night and don’t worry a bit. We have LOTS of light, we are higher up on the hill so our cable leaf thingy we got for Christmas picks up 30 channels inside of 1 and all for free! We have a nice big living room enough to do Pilates if I ever feel like it…

It reminds me to be grateful. That even though the fridge is short and small WE HAVE A FRIDGE. And even though the place looks junky on the outside we HAVE a place in a nice part of town with nice carpet and so far nice neighbors. And though we’ve only moved less than 1/3 of a mile up the hill it means a new ward BUT it means new people and friends, etc.

Splender in the Grass

Tom, Ben and I were privileged to fly out to South Dakota (thanks to Tom’s parents!) last week. It was Ben’s and my first visits to Tornado Alley, the Midwest, America’s Breadbasket, and whatever else it’s referred to.

The trip was the Bermuda Triangle of events! Tom’s baby sister Erika was sealed to her husband Chris in the Bismarck, N.D. Temple, Tom’s other sister Charity had a new baby blessed as well as a daughter baptized. And because everything is so spread out in the Midwest it meant a LOT of driving; I estimated we spent 16.5-17 hours driving. Needless to say having a toddler in a car/car seat for even half that length is brutal…BRUTAL!!! :

Some of the highlights: (Not in any particular order)

1.     Possibly my BIGGEST priority I was looking forward to was going through Tom’s family albums so I could FINALLY see what he looked like as a baby, a kid, etc. Before the trip I had seen literally only TWO photos, his newborn hospital picture and his Kindergarten photo… For the record I am a BIG photo album looker-lover. I don’t even care if I don’t know the people I’m looking at, I simply LOVE and super enjoy getting to know people and feeling their emotions through photos! =) But this was a special treat since I SO wanted to experience that same awesomeness with my hubbies moments. Unfortunately, with the very limited amount of time to do this I only got through one photo album; birth through about 3 years old. AND I have to say Ben looks amazingly like Tom! It’s been difficult for me to see Tom in Ben at all, when I look at Ben I see, well, BEN or I see my side and the closest to Tom I ever see are the nephews on his side coming through. But WOW people! Tom as toddler is Ben now. That was possibly my favorite moment! I look forward to our next trip out whenever that will be to see more pictures.

2.     Gosh okay this actually might be my favorite moment! Saturday was the longest stretch of driving going 3.5 hours one way to Bismarck not including pit stops. So by the time we drove back that evening Ben was exhausted, HECK I WAS EXHAUSTED, especially since there was a good 20 minute period where he was uncontrollably screaming, red-faced, gasping for breath, fighting, and nothing I did would calm him down including taking his out of his seat and holding him in my arms, which I did many times throughout our journeying. (Judge me all you want people, until you’ve lived it you REALLY have NO clue how hard and long a baby can scream especially when you are sitting there in their view- it only encourages them more.) Anyway, when we returned to Aberdeen, SD our first stop was the hotel where Tom’s parents where staying and while they went in their rooms freshening up, Tom and I let Ben go wild in the large grassy area outside. He was in heaven. It was like the last 10 hours hadn’t happened. It was the only time I had my camera close at hand and we were able to take photos proving we ever visited. Thus, the pictures included in this blog that you’ve seen on FB.

3.     I always knew Tom was good with kids, especially with his niece and nephews when they came out for our wedding but I got to see it again this trip. Whereas I get worn but by kids in ohhh about 10 minutes I saw Tom HAPPILY play and keep them entertained for a few hours; that’s right HOURS! In fact, I got my nose in a huff a little about it! “We finally have time together and he’s playing with the OTHER kids over his own kid!” But I never got too upset, those kids love their Uncle Tom they see at most once a year and though Tom only sees Ben in the mornings before work and most of Sundays only I can’t wait for Ben to get bigger because it’s Tom’s favorite stage- when they CAN play back. =) Loving babies comes easy to me, of course, they are so sweet and small and helpless and you don’t mind changing their yeasty diapers and you don’t care if they spit up, but kids……kids are WORK! They talk and talk and argue and don’t understand reason and truly, I don’t have patience. I fully admit it. So all together it was a good reminder how Tom’s enthusiasm for playing with kids is not only adorable but will be my lifesaver in the future!

It was a treat to see Tom’s family including grandparents on both his sides, and his super sweet Aunt Terry, an uncle, etc. I really did luck-out in the in-law department! (What a weird expression, wouldn’t luck-out mean a bad thing? Like how striking-out is bad???)

Walker, Carpet Ranger

We've got a walker. Well he's been walking for a few weeks now actually but this is me finally blogging about it. Ben's still very much Ben- laughs and smiles at EVERYONE! It's pretty awesome to have this little Mr. Concernicus who always have this "in deep, analytical thinking face" but quickly and generously gives adorable dimpled smiles to any one anywhere. I feel really proud to have such a friendly, loving baby (like I had anything to do with it).

Ben's eating is still very typical him too. He's finally open to most pureed foods but isn't taking to solids very well. I try to not stress about it and just take it as this is what he's slow at. He does still love cheddar cheese, some cinnamon rolls (only when they are fresh out of the oven NOT any older) and only likes to drink water- hates milk, OJ, apple juice, etc. which...is just fine with me, I really don't like the idea of sugar drinks anyway.

Breastfeeding ended officially ended 4 days ago too and its awesome. I mean I do like that sweet bonding time but he's really and so were my boobs ;) He has FINALLY been sleeping through the night, as in 12 hours! Its happened a handful of times now and a few in a row, then a few rough times in a row and then back to awesome nights all slowly pointing (fingers crossed) to the norm being 12 hrs nights indefinitely.

We're moving the middle of next month and like anyone knows its been a PAIN! We checked out over 12 different places and funny enough we think we might be going back to our old place! NOT the same apartment but same location. However, we are waiting to hear back if that will even work out b/c.....get this....."we make too much money" WAHHH haha. Not even close people. In a nutshell its one of those situations where we are too rich for section 8, 42 housing but everything else is super out of the question. Long story short, we found a foreclosed property a few weeks ago going for NOTHING people but after we considered property taxes, normal expenses, etc. it cost well over a third of our take home which is OUT of the question but we weren't too bummed, it reminded us in a positive way we are still on the path we feel good about! :D

The fall is right around the corner...isn't that INSANE??? Tom will be in school again meaning we'll basically see him on on Sundays only well...he's now in Elder Quorum so maybe not even Sundays but like everything else I'm happy for our situation, I wish we were through this stage already BUT I'm grateful for it. Just a couple days ago I had thee worst wave crash in the history of J.D.Clark and while it sucked so bad it was a beautiful reminder to me how loved and taken care of I am by the world's most patient and ever-so-quick to make his woman happy- man!